


Ghosts

by Saber_Wing



Series: The Ties That Bind [13]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Depression, Dragon Age: Inquisition - Trespasser DLC, Drama, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Dragon Age: Inquisition - Trespasser DLC, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-24 02:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30065439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saber_Wing/pseuds/Saber_Wing
Summary: It was past midday, and he couldn’t get out of bed.
Relationships: The Iron Bull/Male Trevelyan (Dragon Age)
Series: The Ties That Bind [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1254914
Comments: 6
Kudos: 14





	Ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> I was a little conflicted about whether or not I should include this in the series. That being said, it can be read stand alone, but I do of course, consider it part of my canon. I played Trespasser after putting it off with Max for so long, and I was all up in my feelings, so this drabble happened.

The Inquisitor couldn’t get out of bed.

It wasn’t that he was wounded badly. When Solas took his arm, it had been a clean break. He wasn’t sure how, but there’d been no trace of blood. Only excruciating pain. Enough that he fell unconscious and woke back in his bed in Halamshiral.

He’d been weak, yes. He still was. 

He couldn’t get out of bed.

He didn’t want to.

He stared blankly into the darkness. Neither sleeping, nor seeing, doused as the candles were. Drapes drawn tight enough that no trace of light shone through.

It was past midday, and he couldn’t get out of bed.

Why should he?

He had sacrificed. Broken off pieces of himself. Become someone he barely recognized, for good, _and_ ill. He’d accomplished many wonderful, terrible things.

It wasn’t enough for the world. He’d always known it wouldn’t be. People were as short-sighted as they were short-lived. Slow to forgive, and quick to forget.

He _wouldn’t_ get out of bed.

Let _them_ fix this blighted world for a change.

He told himself he was being a child. He was hardly the only one who’d given life—and _limb_ , he thought, with a hysterical giggle. There were many people who’d sacrificed as much, if not more, than he had. He wasn’t alone in that. But he was tired.

Tears prickled the corners of his eyes.

He was _so_ tired.. _._

Tired of making sense. Of being the voice of reason. Of standing on the battlefield, fighting for people who would never thank him.

If the Inquisition was doomed to this slow-moving fall from grace, he wanted the same.

He wanted to be nothing. Ached to be hollow. _Yearned_ to be that burned-out husk he carried inside. To plunge into the yawning chasm widening within, that he’d ignored all these years.

The world needed a savior, and he hadn’t the time to break.

It still didn’t feel right. Letting go. Welcoming the ghosts, the spirits, and the phantoms he’d denied. He’d thought it would be liberating, falling into their embrace. Becoming as hollow as, perhaps, he’d always been. It felt like giving up.

He'd never been any good at that.

The door creaked open and shut. Strong arms wrapped around him from behind.

An Intruder, then.

This one never did know when to _leave_.

“You hungry?” they murmured after a time, soft as a lullaby. “Cooks made those flaky pastries you like.”

The Inquisitor said nothing.

“Water then, maybe?” A chin, on top of his head. “How ‘bout it, Kadan?”

 _Was_ he _‘Kadan?’_ Warm, beloved? Life, love, and everything in between? Was he that, for _‘The Intruder?’_

They kissed the back of his neck.

Who was he, really?

_‘Herald?’_

‘ _Inquisitor?’_

' _Boss_?'

No.

He didn’t want that, either.

He’d been the _‘Boss.’_ For _so_ long…

Another kiss. Lingering.

“Max…”

_'Max?'_

He scoffed.

“I _must_ look terrible, if you’re calling me that.”

“Nah. You couldn’t look bad if you tried.” The Intruder rested their cheek against his. “It's darker than _shit_. I can't _see."_

The Inquisitor laughed, hysterically.

The Intruder pulled him flush against them. Brushed a kiss upon his cheek. “It’s your name,” they said, in answer. Simply.

“Is it?” he breathed, on the edge of a sob.

“Only one I care about.”

His eyes burned. _Oh,_ how they burned, like _‘The Anchor_.’ Sharp. Painful. A slow-moving death.

“I’m scared,” he murmured, as time passed. Gaze trained on nothing.

“I know.”

His jaw hurt. His head ached. His arm was _agony,_ and it wasn’t even _there._ It remained only as a phantom. An after-image of what he used to be.

Another ghost, to join the legion.

The Inquisitor was trembling. Shaking. Breaking. Shattering in the arms of this _usurper_ , who wouldn't leave. Wouldn’t abandon this burned-out corpse. This _husk_ of a man.

“I love you,” The Intruder murmured. As if he were telling him the sky was blue, or that birds could fly.

The Inquisitor crumbled…

…and Max _keened._

He let The Iron Bull move him, so they were facing each other. Let Max huddle deep into his arms. Let him scream, cry. _Rage_ into his chest. Sent away the nosy servants, who came to investigate. The worried friends.

“Shh…” The Iron Bull murmured when he’d cried himself out. Rocking him, like a child.

“Don’t leave me,” Max rasped, brokenly. "Please."

Bull’s arms tightened around his back. “ _Nightmare_ demons couldn’t drag me away.”

Max let out a noise that seemed equal parts laughter, and despair. “Nightmare demons, plural?”

Bull growled. “There aren’t enough _assholes_ in the Fade.”

It didn’t fix anything. Didn’t fill the holes inside. Didn’t banish the demons or shoo the agony away. But Max believed him. And he thought, as his lover gathered him close, maybe the ghosts hadn’t taken _everything._

**Author's Note:**

> Feelings. Told you it was awful. I need to fix Post-Trespasser somehow, I just haven't figured it out yet. We'll see.
> 
> As always, thanks for being here! I'm always happy to hear your thoughts <3


End file.
